Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Blind Spots

Today I am thinking about my “blind spots”.  We all have them.  They are the things that we just can’t seem to see about ourselves, or others, or the world around us.  I can be blind to both my faults and my gifts, completely unable to see myself the way other people see me.  And let’s face it, do I really want to? 

 

The scary thing about my blind  spots is that I don’t even know that they exist.  What am I missing?  What am I blissfully unaware of?  Those things that if I understood about myself might require some sort of change, reparation or apology on my part? 

 

But if I do want to begin understanding my blind spots, where do I begin?  I begin by being willing  to see.  That statement may seem obvious and simplistic, but I can tell by the feeling of dread in my stomach as I just contemplate the possibility, that it would be very difficult.  What if I told all of my friends, my husband, my family, my kids that they could tell me all of the faults they see in me?  All of the times that I have failed them.  That I want them to tell me these things.  Would I be able to stand and listen or would I end up a puddle of quivering self loathing jelly who retreats back into the safety of limited vision?

 

As frightening and painful as it may be, I want to live my life with my eyes wide open.  I want to know the truth about myself and about the world around me.  This doesn’t mean that I am sending a blanket statement to everyone to list all my character flaws, but it does mean that I commit to be awake in a new way and to listen to everyone around me in a deeper way.  There is a very good possibility that they can see something that I cannot.

 

1 comment:

Nichol said...

''a puddle of quivering self loathing jelly who retreats back into the safety of limited vision''

This made me laugh. i am not even close to looking at my blind spots! Yikes!