Saturday, February 20, 2010

She lives her life both wide and deep....


I received a sweet email today from Sunrise Sister commenting on my blogging absence and sending wishes that all is well in my world. I am not yet sure about proper blogging etiquette. I did not purposely decide to stop blogging altogether and yet day after day passed and then several weeks in which there has been complete silence at my blog. Should I have said, “I’m a little busy right now and you won’t be seeing or hearing much from me here”? Should I have said, “I’m taking a blogger break”? I don’t know why it should surprise me that people notice when I am gone, I certainly notice when many of you haven’t posted in a while.

As much as I love blogging and taking part in the blogging community, I have found myself to be scattered in both mind and spirit, pulled in many different directions. The way that I have interacted in the blogging world was contributing to that. I have been on a spiritual journey long enough to know that life is constantly changing both inwardly and outwardly and in order to care most lovingly for myself and those that I am committed to, I must pay attention to what is needed at any given juncture and shift appropriately. At one point in my life I may have multiple different projects and interests going on all at once and my spirit thrives on it. At another point, I may be asked to give all of my focus to only one thing. Maybe two.

I am currently in a place where I am being asked to simplify on all levels. Fewer books, activities, and interactions. Fewer words. I need inner spaciousness. I am being drawn to this simplicity in the midst of a family who is busy with many activities, each of us going in many different directions. Almost all of it is wonderful, enriching, enlivening and exciting. But that wonderful life creates limited opportunities for outward spaciousness, which for me means empty places on my calendar.

There is a line from a song that I can no longer recall the title of that says, “She lives her life both wide and deep.” I want to live a life of balance between wide and deep. But right now, the scales are tipping toward depth. I feel sure that a time focused on depth will enable me to move back into the wide, wide world.

I hope to be seeing you all soon.

11 comments:

The Pollinatrix said...

I'm glad to hear from you, Rebecca. I've been missing you, and have thought about emailing you several times, but had the sense that you were indeed taking a break, so I didn't want to disturb that.

My outer life has become much more complex in the past couple of weeks, but simultaneously simpler on the internal level. It's funny how that works sometimes.

Anonymous said...

may i wish you peace and clarity and space. Thankyou for all the words and inspiration you have given to us all. We will all be ok for a while , knowing you are doing what you need to . with love, another Rebecca x

Tess said...

Sunrise Sister beat me to it!

I completely understand what you're saying here. May you find joy in diving the depths, and I hope you will share more of your words with us when you are able to.

Rebecca Johnson said...

Polli, Yes, and I can imagine that to be true and have indeed experienced it, but right now, I can't imagine what it felt like. I think that if the inward is simple the outward will follow.

Please feel free to check in any time you want. Sometimes there are things that I would say in an email that I don't really want to post. : )

Love....

Rebecca Johnson said...

Hello Another Rebecca,

Thank you for your blessing. It is gratefully received and yes, I am sure that you all will be OK. : )

Rebecca Johnson said...

Tess, I spent two long days AT HOME this weekend and feel much more centered already. I will keep listening and diving and surface as I am able. : ) I do miss you all.

Love....

Barbara said...

Good to know you are well. Peace in all aspects of your life. It is indeed the season for reflection and adjustment.

Sulwyn said...

It seems that this Lent is affecting all of us deeply, without really planning it that way. Instead of waiting for the season, it came to meet me early and I suspect that the shift has happened that way for many. At least it seems that way throughout my communities! Many blessings as you dive deep, and I hope you return to share your beautiful words with us when the time is right.

Rebecca Johnson said...

Barbara,

Yes, it is the season.

Love...

Rebecca Johnson said...

Sulwyn,

As I mentioned back during Advent, I didn't grow up in a tradition that observed Lent. So, even though I attempt to pay attention to it now, it is not deep down in my spiritual bones. So, I find it a grace that I am having the eyes to see that God will draw me deeply into this time even without me doing much "thinking" or planning around it. Thank you for your blessing and your companionship on the journey.

Love...

SUNRISE SISTER said...

So wonderful to see your words today and so understand your need for space and time in the midst of your busy life as wife and mother and ALL that entails! I pray for your inner space and peace, you can tell from the commenters that you impart wisdom and grace to our lives but we'll be all right:) and you'll be even better when you feel the need to tend your garden without us dragging along ALL of the time. Peace!