I received a sweet email today from Sunrise Sister commenting on my blogging absence and sending wishes that all is well in my world. I am not yet sure about proper blogging etiquette. I did not purposely decide to stop blogging altogether and yet day after day passed and then several weeks in which there has been complete silence at my blog. Should I have said, “I’m a little busy right now and you won’t be seeing or hearing much from me here”? Should I have said, “I’m taking a blogger break”? I don’t know why it should surprise me that people notice when I am gone, I certainly notice when many of you haven’t posted in a while.
As much as I love blogging and taking part in the blogging community, I have found myself to be scattered in both mind and spirit, pulled in many different directions. The way that I have interacted in the blogging world was contributing to that. I have been on a spiritual journey long enough to know that life is constantly changing both inwardly and outwardly and in order to care most lovingly for myself and those that I am committed to, I must pay attention to what is needed at any given juncture and shift appropriately. At one point in my life I may have multiple different projects and interests going on all at once and my spirit thrives on it. At another point, I may be asked to give all of my focus to only one thing. Maybe two.
I am currently in a place where I am being asked to simplify on all levels. Fewer books, activities, and interactions. Fewer words. I need inner spaciousness. I am being drawn to this simplicity in the midst of a family who is busy with many activities, each of us going in many different directions. Almost all of it is wonderful, enriching, enlivening and exciting. But that wonderful life creates limited opportunities for outward spaciousness, which for me means empty places on my calendar.
There is a line from a song that I can no longer recall the title of that says, “She lives her life both wide and deep.” I want to live a life of balance between wide and deep. But right now, the scales are tipping toward depth. I feel sure that a time focused on depth will enable me to move back into the wide, wide world.